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| Moving into the realm of friendship makes love affairs sweet. |
Dear reader,
Today, I will like to spice up your week with this beautiful
attribute of love affair which is so vital yet often overlooked by many.
The neglect of this attribute is majorly connected with
LUST, sheer impatience or haste to be in a relationship which ends such fellows
in a 'stressed love relationship'. Many have fallen victims of the harsh
realities of a relationship built in a hurry - based on what the eyes can see,
what the heart feels and deceit, leaving them with disappointment and
heartbreak.
This essential ingredient of every relationship required to
build, sustain, nurture and take it to a climax - marriage - is nothing but - FRIENDSHIP.
The Wikipedia dictionary defines friendship as 'a
relationship of mutual affection between two or more people'.
Core in this
definition are the words relationship and mutual affection.
Relationship
has been variously defined by different people as it applies to their situation,
but on this platform, permit me to describe it as a manner in which two persons
behave or get involved with each other. It is also said to be the connection
between the individuals involved, in this case a lady and a guy.
Friend, you
will agree with me that for a true relationship to exist there must be FRIENDSHIP
and for it to be real, there must be a connection and mutual affection. Friendship
is such a serious phenomenon that it is even a subject matter in various
academic fields of study like social psychology, sociology, philosophy and
anthropology.
This
interesting subject permeates all human endeavours and that is why we hear
expressions like 'show me your friend and I will show you who you are', 'A
friend in need is a friend in deed' , 'there is a friend that sticks closer
than a brother' , 'greater love has no one
than this that someone lay down his life for a friend', etc . More importantly, friendship is a MUST HAVE in a relationship that centres much on love .
I
particularly advocate true friendship in love relationships because I understand
perfectly well that happiness in relationship can never be at its peak without
it.
Friendship in perspective
Friendship
must not be seen as a mere casual social endeavour but must be entered into
with every sense of seriousness and commitment. To identify a good friend, you must first be
one. The benefits of this are huge and they include:
Ø An opportunity to assess and understand
the individual.
Ø An avenue to know the person's character
traits and capabilities overtime.
Ø Helps to build trust and bond.
Ø Compatibility assessment
Ø True love
Ø Health and mental benefits
Ø Happiness in marriage and many more.
If friendship
offers the above mentioned benefits and even more, it therefore makes a lot of
sense to seek friendship first before engaging in a love affair.
It is easy for a man to say I love you to a
woman, but the question is; does he really mean it?
Most times
when such statements are made, they are borne out of mere lust emanating from physical attraction which is not ideal for a lasting relationship.
When faced
with a situation like this, I advise that the lady involved must be on guard so
as to be able to see the guy's real intentions or she may be heading for a
heartbreak in no long time.
Don't be a cheap chic!
The
responsibility lies on her to be wise enough to insist on friendship, with boundaries
well set and defined!
By that I
mean, she must be discreet enough to know that this friendship must be void of
any form of entanglement whether physical or emotional. Specifically, SEX must
be avoided except she's ready to risk abandonment by the guy within a short
time because she would have ended up confirming the guy's fears of the lady
being a cheap chic so he might just hang around her majorly to fulfil his sexual
needs.
At this
point, the dude can never wish to be committed to a lasting relationship and naturally
the lady's form of revenge is to rain abuses and rage on the guy for breaking
her heart - sorry about that girl, but sincerely, you will agree with me that
she caused it.
She let her
guards down, she let loose and opened her heart too soon and the guy cashed in
on the opportunity.
A big NO
Believe me,
the emotional attachment and pain that comes with this is unnecessary and it is
something that could have been avoided if true friendship was given a chance.
So far, you
will agree with me that sexual intimacy at acquaintance stage is a big NO my beautiful diva. Reason being that
sex at the early stage of a relationship clouds the lady's sense of clear judgement and no wise lady would want to
sacrifice her happiness at the altar of sex.
Friendship
can only be sweet when the two persons involved treat each other with respect
and affection.
It is only
when true friendship has been diligently established that the persons involved
can take the relationship to the next
level - love.
Ashley Rice
has this to say about friends: ''Friends are hard to find and in a life you get
only a few. And when you find them, you will always know them by sight and heart alone , you always grow a little bit taller in your soul,
and you have been blessed just to know them''.
On that note, I end today's write up on Babe2Wife, but it is not over yet on this interesting topic. More will come on
how to know if he is a true friend that you should consider giving your heart
in love.
Remember that it is better to remain a friend with him than fall in
love and fall out too soon because he is not a true friend.
Thank you for
reading this post but please, leave a comment and share with your friends and help them avoid the big mistake of
falling for some guy that is not a true friend.
Stay blessed.
Yours truly.
The MUST HAVE ingredient in a love relationship
Read more
What you should have as a Lady to attract a man
Today, we are looking inwards, as we discuss the traits that qualify a lady as a true friend but not just that. We will be looking at key character traits that a real guy looks out for in a lady that he will want to consider for friendship, love and marriage.
We must understand that in this day and age, information is readily available to all, in other words the level of enlightenment has greatly increased compared to what used to be. The contemporary guy knows exactly what he wants in his dream lady and can spot it immediately he discovers it.
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Secrets to a lasting relationship and marriage
I will also like to buttress the importance of careful selection of a life partner, being aware of the wide implications it has on the outcome of your life.
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